child abuse, submission, & authority

So, I had this cop yell at me at the top of his lungs today.  I was driving from my apartment to the Y to go play some ball with some dudes that hoop it up Sunday afternoons.  I was driving down Riverside Avenue in Tulsa, my favorite route.  There were all these bikers doing some parade or something…I’ve no clue what they were doing I just know they were driving 2 miles an hour and I had some hot tickets to an OU vs. TU game later so I wanted to hit and split the Y really quick.  I was behind this cop, and I needed to just go to his left to make a U-turn.  He signaled to me that I needed to not pass him because, as it seemed to me, he needed to make sure that no one joined in the parade.  Fair enough, I thought.  However, the parade was a good half block ahead of us, and all I wanted to do was get in the left hand lane and make a stinking U-turn.  So, because he was past that lane now, and because I thought surely it would be okay to turn around and get out of his way, I began to go left.  He signals at me again—something I didn’t understand but I thought he just meant “don’t try to get in the parade” so I simply made a motion pointing to the left, with a plea on my face saying “all I want to do is turn around.”  At this point a lot of cars are plugged up behind us and I figured they’d likely appreciate being able to do the same thing.  Any way, this cop parks his car, gets out, runs toward me, and begins to yell at me at the top of his lungs.  Yelling to me that I need to back off.  I reply to him, with sincerity, “I’m sorry, I meant you no harm, I’d just like to turn around.”  He then continues to yell, which by now was extremely offensive.  I replied more things on an apology sort of level, trying to eat my humble pie and like it.  More yelling, now, in my face with a pointed finger.  Here’s the skinny: I respect cops, really I do, I’ve known many of them personally and have seen their service first hand and most of them are great guys (and gals).  But I’m also aware that I wasn’t breaking the law, and, as a human being I deserve to be treated with at least a shred of decency.  I had another experience this year when a police officer said some very offensive things to me one night when I was out on a date with a girl earlier this year, and so I was, to be honest, a bit frayed by this hostility today.  I replied, still in a calm voice, “sir, I’m very sorry for whatever it is your upset about.  But, please don’t yell at me.”  I was then threatened with not only a ticket, but, told if I didn’t shut my mouth I could go to prison.  With those words, I realized this man really needed to prove himself and find a sense of personal validation, so I kept my mouth shut, waited for the Harley’s to flex their steel muscle and snail-like ability before onlookers, and waited until I could, finally, make the simple left turn I wanted to make.  Again, I just want to clarify, I respect police officers; I’ve known many of them personally and have seen their good service first hand.  That’s not my point. I’m sure that guy was just having a bad day, and, I maybe need to be a bit better at keeping my mouth shut.

Deal is, though, I’ve got issues with anyone who abuses their authority and uses it in improper ways.

In the Church today, authority has virtually become an absolute doctrine.  I can’t write about how that is taken so out of context so much of the time…right now, I’m actually going to go at this at a different vantage point:  even if and when we are called to submit to someones authority (in other words lets just assume that we are) at what point, I ask you, do we not submit to that authority any longer??? Extreme example:  your pastor begins to teach you that Jesus is not the only way to heaven.  Buddha is now entirely acceptable, and gold communion plates will now be melted into those little fat man statues.  Do you submit to that?  Obviously not. Again that’s very extreme, but, if at that point you wake up and realize you are free to move on in order to preserve your faith…see where I’m going with this????

The definition of child abuse has a few varieties of definition.  One is “actions that result in harm by any caregiver to a child.”  Another is “failure to act in a way which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.”  Perhaps the one most pertinent to this discussion though is “neglect, in which the responsible adult fails to adequately provide for various needs, including physical (failure to provide adequate food, clothing, or hygiene), emotional (failure to provide nurturing or affection) or educational (failure to enroll a child in school).”

I have to ask a question which will be, perhaps hauntingly annoying to some church goers, but, it has to be asked…don’t you think that, in the Church, that spiritual children often sit underneath many, many, many forms of neglect????

Let me be clear:  I believe retaliation only perpetuates the cycle of abuse.  I heard it once said, “hurt people…hurt people” or in other words hurting people will hurt other people.  So, I’m not trying to gather troops and go burn down church buildings and point at any specific leaders pieces of sawdust specks with that continual plank I’m trying to surgically remove from my eye…with that said, however, at one point does a leader loose his authority ??? (again this is assuming that there is massive New Testament Biblical basis for such forms of authority which for now I’m not negating)

In plain words, I just watch, with pain in my heart, as a lot of my friends confide in me and tell me that they are underneath someone or something that is limiting them in what they would like to do, but, they wouldn’t want to step up from underneath it because, after all, the Bible tells us millions and billions of times over that we are to submit (okay that was definitely sarcastic about the billions part but I’m being pretty kind overall).  Again, to be clear, I don’t ever tell those people to step out from underneath whoever it is they feel like they are supposed to be under.  I do ask them to look at the Bible, and to find verses on the word Submit.  In fact, I’d encourage you to go home and look up that word, too.  You’ll likely find, as I have, that the NT theme for submitting is “to submit unto one another.”  Or, you’ll find the words of Jesus, “the pagans lord over others…NOT SO AMONG YOU….the greatest among you must be a servant…”  Jesus was so NOT a CEO.  And He never called anyone to ever be put in a place where they are told that they are “underneath” another man.  He doesn’t look at any of His kids as less than any other kids.  We do.  He doesn’t.  Golly I’d like to rant and rave about  that but times almost up…

Personally, I love expressing my faith in Jesus in the way I do (meeting in homes with people all week long) for many, many reasons, and along these lines because of the fact that authority is often put back in it’s proper place…it’s shared with mutual respect, honesty, and true transparency by those who may perhaps be facilitating a meeting.  I find complete and total Biblical merit to do this, after all, the first day of the Church took place in a house.  It allows for everyone to be put in check, everyone to be held accountable, and everyone to be equal.

I just think that a lot of people are sitting in spiritual child abuse.  And I think that any time a man needs to preach about his authority on a frequent basis, he needs to double check himself and ask why people don’t want to follow him instinctively.  He needs to see where he lacks the ability to inspire people with the quality and character of his life.  I mean for goodness sakes, Jesus is the flippin King of the universe and He calls us a friend…God became a man…God was made an equal among us…HE took a lesser road…without success…God calls us friend, but, we as spiritual leaders do not call our followers friends.  We tell them to submit.  That sounds more like a business than a Church, to me.

I watched the other day “Uncle Toms Cabin” and I saw this big fat white guy beat his slaves.  But he loved the Bible.  He loved, in particular, “slaves obey your masters.”

I believe in authority, but I believe in fatherly authority.  If a dad raises a son who only listens to what he’s been told if punishment, discipline or other forms of authority are issued, the question has to be asked about why in the world that child became like that.  I believe it is vital that spiritual fathers rise up to wield any possible right to authority they may (or may not) have with great humility.  I believe in submission, and I intentionally pursue advice from people older than me and wiser than me on a normal basis.  But I don’t believe in submitting to a spiritual father if I am suffering spiritual child abuse, i.e. neglect.  That is not a pastor, by it’s very definition (the word pastor means to shepherd not necessarily to preach).

David didn’t strike back against Saul.  So, so true.  But, when spears were thrown at him, he didn’t stay in the palace.  He left.

Just a thought.  May each man choose his own way.  I’m not looking to tell anyone what to do here–that would be an oxymoron in and of  itself.  But just enjoy freedom…not freedom to indulge in your selfish nature…but the freedom of knowing what your rights are as a child of God.

in love

Nate

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