Overall Health & Why I’ve “Kissed Dating HELLO!”

Uh, um, yeah, that’s my subject line…kinda awkward and feels funny knowing all my friends can read about this part of my life, but cheers to transparency I guess… 

OK first off, on the health front, I haven’t really updated anyone about me & Will’s friendly bet a few months back. Well, that was likely because neither of us got to our goals in time, and…uh…that’s no fun to type. But, the good news for me is that I’ve finally got back down to 245 lbs! I’ve been averaging that for a few weeks, which is a combination of joy and frustration. I’m looking at the glass half full, in that it could be worse. BUT it COULD be better…which is why Will & I are shooting to loose 10 lbs in 10 days. Starting today (yesterday on the phone actually) till Feb. 1st. I think that’s more like 11 days. And frankly, I don’t care if I shoot for the stars and only make it to the moon on this one. I just want to get down into the 230′s. I don’t think I’ve been in the 230′s since high school, or, my first year or two of college at the least. It’s a big deal for me both emotionally and mentally and it’s helped my overall health greatly. I kinda like the fact that I did slump the last few years and gain almost 50 pounds but that in the past year I’ve made a decision to re-loose all that flab…it proves to me, for the rest of my life, that no matter how bad I let things get, I can always pick myself up, dust myself off, and get going again. I’ve learned a lot in the process of physical health, esp. that it is so much more about a long-term outlook rather than a short term perspective. When I had surgery in July I wasn’t physically able to exercise for over a month, save a few short walks and small 5 pound weight lifting. To top it off I was almost in a virtual state of emotional depression from a broken engagement and I used food for comfort once again and managed to put back on 20 of the pounds I had lost at that time, putting me back up into the 260′s somewhere. Well, finally after 5 months of exercise I’ve managed to get back to that point, and am proud of the fact that for an entire year I maintained a loss of over / about 35 lbs. I’ve still got at least 10 to go, maybe 15 or more. But, overall, the health journey has proven fruitful and has helped me to….

Kiss dating HELLO!!! That’s a play-on-words from a book years ago about “Kissing Dating Goodbye” and though I never read it, it did affect my teenage-life a lot. It came from this idea, based in good morals and such, about not dating until you find “the one.” Well, I chose not to date in high school, not necessarily in direct connection to that book, but, with some of the same mentalities such as “I need to wait until this magical moment when I know that so and so is the one for me.” Deal is, I’ve been burnt on that line of thinking, burnt to a crispy ash I may add. And I’m not necessarily saying it’s wrong, I think “if in doubt wait it out” (that’s original not from the book, yes yes copyrights please is likely your best bet and will save you from heartache of time wasted on empty, pointless relationships. HOWEVER I have specialized in single-hood hoping that I would find “the one” throughout nearly all of high school (save the few small flings that lasted a matter of days or weeks only) and now through a majority of adulthood. I would then go from gear negative 2 to gear 5 with regards to women, and got awfully serious a few times only to then go back to where I was to start with.  Never did I truly “date” in, the sense of simply taking a swing at things and not worrying about figuring out 50 years of marriage and my wifes retirement package on the 2nd month of our relationship…I have in my adult years gotten more into the dating swing, but, it’s only been this year that….

I’ve finally had the confidence, courage, & healthy self-esteem to approach girls I’m attracted to and ask them out. It’s been utterly life changing for me, and it’s only about 90 days old or so. I finally managed to get my physical health to a point I’m decently proud of, realizing that how I let myself look is 100% my choice. I’ve in the past few months gone on a number of coffee-dates or other simple dates with several women. That’s a first for me. I’m honestly not bragging. Here I am, approaching 26 soon, and bracing myself for age 30. I’ve been to hell and back in the dating world, given my heart away a few times only to have it ripped out, chewed up for dinner, regurgitated and scavenged by wild predators. A lot of my spiritual friends have told me many well meaning things trying to help get me through my pain last year, about how if I were to just pray a bit more or believe in God a bit more everything will be ok. I’ve done those things, and believe in those things. But if you see a hungry dude that hasn’t had food in 20 days and tell him to pray to God for food, frankly, you are full of crap. Not because that guy shouldn’t pray but just because you are putting all the blame on God and taking zero responsibility.  Likewise, I don’t think that God is looking for me to just pray my way into finding a chicka (I do think that is a part of it) I think finding the option of fish in the sea takes a bit of fishing.  TRUST ME I’d love for my future hot-as-the-sun wife to just fall out of the sky with an accompaniment of angels holding neon signs saying “this is-ith thy wife-y thoust shalt marry her right now”.  I’d say boo-ya to that.  But, fact of the matter is, I think I need to get out on the scene, keep my horizons open enough to find the Mrs. Sanow-babe I’m looking for.

So, somehow, all these thoughts tie into one for me.  Let’s face it: physical health affects us in every way.  I think sometimes our outlook on life is clouded literally just because we are low-blood sugared.  Eating well cheers us up, gives us energy, and will help us live longer.  We’ll be alive and healthy when our kids are in high school and college.  It’s not arrogant to get physically healthy and make it a focus of your life—you can be far more self centered by spending way too much money on fast food & junk food.  For me, it’s meant I’ve finally gotten confident enough to enjoy approach girls and enjoy a number of low key dates.  I’ve even been asked out on a few occasions! (only to quickly remember why I prefer to do the asking and usually don’t need much help, if I’m interested, you’ll find out from me first—nonetheless though it’s been flattering and is a new happening in my life). I don’t know why life wasn’t like this for me growing up and why it’s taken me till my mid-2o’s to get here.  But it’s not, for me, about bragging rights AT ALL or about anything like that.  I just feel like there is this little inner wound of years of rejection melting away through simple moments of attention & attraction, and that a lot of my inner wounds & insecurities have largely been my choice to face up to the plate & deal with—physical health is just one thing that can be picturesque of that.

It’s a time of life where my overall health is on the up & up: emotionally, physically, mentally, & spiritually.

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